tired of all the bullshit.

i am registering for winter courses soon and then spring courses the week after next. i graduate either in the summer or the fall of 2010, so im content with that. now i just need to prepare for a job of some sort.

winter is approaching, which means it is colder indoors. heat is sooo expensive.

CRAZY week! last week was an emotional roller coaster. my boyfriend had a period last week, no joke. he got over it soon enough though. our dining room ceiling collapsed. The upstairs bathroom my sister and I use had a clogged pipe. It was not a fun two days. The land lord and his guy are putting up a new ceiling.

I have projects due on Monday and Tuesday next week, so this week I will be at school longer than normal. Ill probably be there all day wednesday after my internship. Im going to work some more on my photo project because I didn't like all of my prints. Also there are some negatives id like to see printed. I need more paper and supplies in general.

I still need to put in time to work on my stories.

Im late for bed... I have class at 2 tomorrow but I need to be at school earlier than I usually get there so I can work on my project.

So, it has been a very hot summer. I've gotten a tan, and although I was born with one, I am not angry about this one. That is what happens when one works outside for three months. My last week at that horrid job that pays more than my last job , is next week. I am more than ready for school to start. I want to develop my film and learn to use some new equipment and technologies.
My job has been full of the standard racist good ole boy procedure.... and of course there are the two black persons who are disillusioned. I do not get how they can't see what is so presently there.... they are in the hallway like the rest of us undesirables. I do dislike this job so.... and every job I have ever had. Hopefully I will find something I enjoy within my field of study.
I decided to let one friendship go. If I am willing to contribute more of myself than you are then there is no reason for me to continue on with the friendship. I have come to realize that I can not be friends with a bitch ass person. If I am willing to jump in there when you are having issues then you must be willing to do the same. Also I do not like to tolerate disloyalty, although I can.
I am dating one of my ex's again. I do love him but probably not as much as he loves me.... but I also do not love any one else more than him. Its a complicated situation.

I am really ready for school to start again. I want something to do other than this daily routine of fucked up job.

I have still not spoken to my father. Its been almost a year. I think about him, how to make him suffer without corrupting my own chances for salvation. I do not know if this is at all possible. He deserves to be punished, him and his evil brother. I thought ceasing communication with him would contain these desires for revenge. I just can not think of a way to seek my revenge without having him die. I would need to be able to monitor his suffering in some way.... if he died I would never be able to know how he suffered.

So my plans to move out are still on, if I can secure the funds. Hopefully......